When OTHERS Want and Expect You To Be Perfect

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

09 Aug 2007 06:08 PM

Many of us wrestle with our own perfectionism and it can be tough enough-but there is nothing like running your own home business to help you learn to let go and allow mistakes and bumbles to happen and learn how to roll with things (okay, maybe parenthood is another situation where we have to learn to tolerate our imperfections.) But, what happens when customers, clients, and colleagues project their own perfectionism and their fears of making mistakes onto you? What do you do when it isn't your perfectionism that is bringing you down as you strive to build your business-but someone else's?

Mistakes and accidents happen, if you've taken responsibility for any mistakes or problems, owned up to your part in them and done what you can to fix things, and then let them go and moved on-you have done your part in staying personally healthy and professional while continuing to focus on building your business. But, some people just cannot let things go. I've learned that when others insist on perfection, it is because they are struggling with their own feelings of low self-esteem, control issues, and feeling inept. Anyone who's ever worked in a group or a more traditional work setting has probably had that coworker who pointed out everyone else's mistakes just to cover up her own. Understanding what is motivating the projecting perfectionist can help you keep from taking on someone else's "stuff"-but it doesn't always make it easy. It's tough not to get engaged or feel defensive when someone just won't let go. You feel as though you should give attentive customer service and are respectful, but you are ready to move on.

The only advice I can give is to try not to take on someone else's perfectionism. You can only do what you can do and some people are not going to be "made happy" no matter what. You can try the "What can I do to make this better?" approach and sometimes that will work. Other times, the person is so hell-bent on perseverating over your error; you'll just have to wait until they get over it. Just remember not to let someone else's baggage or issues change the way you do business. Do your best, take on what you can, and let the rest go.

Also: You Don't Have to Like Them to Do Business With Them--Or Do You?

Finding Like-Minded Colleagues

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